The Woes of Pumping

DAY 1: I went from this in a morning (2 pumping sessions):


DAY 5: To this 4 days later (again 2 pumping sessions):


I tried Exclusively Breastfeeding (BF) Nathaniel when he was first born and did that for the first day and a half and he would NOT stop crying so a nurse convinced me to bottle feed him since I was very weak and tired from the blood transfusion. So I listened and did it and it was amazing to see him finally sleep! So throughout my stay in the hospital I would BF Nate for up to an hour then give him a bottle of formula. He'd guzzle down about 1oz-2oz. when I'd give him it and that also happened when I came home till he was being super gassy and irritable. I started to think maybe it was my Metformin so I spoke with one of my doctors and he said give him all formula and see what happens. Well, all the fussiness STOPPED, so I came to the conclusion that it was my medication and stopped BF-ing him. I felt really guilty in the beginning but then didn't care the next day since he was finally sleeping. So I did the whole suffering thing to dry up (intense breast pain, engorgement, night sweats and fever) for mostly 2 days then the third day, no more pain or anything and I started to feel a little bad that I was "DRY".

This was about 4 days after I stopped BF him I was watching a video on You Tube about a girl that pumps and she was making LOTS of milk. We didn't want a pump cause they were super expensive and I didn't want to buy something if I wasn't going to be successful at it. Well...I got to thinking and started to feel bad for giving up so fast that I tried putting Nate on me to nurse and he latched on perfectly! no nipple confusion AT ALL! I felt excited but then remembered the medication and the drying up thing. So once again I called my doctor and he said since I had lost a lot of weight and my numbers (blood sugars) have been good that I can stop the medication. I stopped it instantly and started BF-ing again, I knew I would have little to NO milk of course I had to keep giving him formula on top of the nursing sessions but then I got curious to see how much milk I was actually making. So I went out and bought a manual pump, I used it and go almost nothing out. I started using it faithfully and Naty seen how determined I was to bring back my milk that he decided to get me an electric pump. We went out and got it and after sanitizing everything I connected myself right to it. I was amazed to get triple the amount I'd get with a manual one which was only 2oz. So the next day I started logging and pumping like a mad woman and here are my numbers so far:
Day 1: 5.5 ounces
Day 2: 6 ounces
Day 3: 6.5 ounces
Day 4: 8.5 ounces
Day 5: Is today and its about 6:45pm and so far I have 6.75, I'm praying to go over the 8.5 mark so that I know I'm getting more and more milk.

This has been an uphill battle that messing with here. I hear about ladies getting up to 20 ounces in ONE SESSION! I'd really be happy with making only what Nate eats in a day. Which be about that amount that people make in one session! I'm doing lots of things to help my supply like taking fenugreek, drinking loads of water, eating oatmeal, limiting caffeine, massaging, power pumping and even had the glass of wine. And it seems something is working but not fast enough. I know I need lots of patience and dedication to make this possible.

Anyway, I've gotta go pump again!

A Celebration!

We started off our first sunday together in church. Nathaniel did great and didn't make a peep, Naty held him the whole time and did not want to share him, his parents went with us and witnessed the blessing of our baby. Our priest didn't hesitate to bless our newest addition. Here are some pics we took:



After we had a dinner at our house to welcome Nathaniel to the family. We had a full house of family, friends and love. We are truly blessed for all the great people that came to meet Nathaniel
Here I was crying my eyes out while we sang happy birthday to Nathaniel:

Life with Baby

Life was very tiring and hard after about 3 days from coming out of the hospital because of the stress from Breastfeeding and just caring for a baby. The first 3 days were pretty easy because he slept alot but after those 3 days he started crying alot and having gas problems. I really forgot how hard it is and I had a hard time adjusting to our new life, I was making it harder on myself by holding him constantly and jumping for every movement or noise he made. Naty did tell me that I didn't have to jump for every noise or haul him all around the house with me so I started to back off and take it easy and my life has gotten so much easier.

In addition, I had my wonderful mother in law here helping me with the household duties and the older kids. She was cooking and cleaning and giving the older kids attention that they needed. I'm so thankful for her and her kindness, she's amazing!

As for breastfeeding, I started wondering if my medication was messing up the baby's stomach cause he was super fussy so we decided to switch to formula, I was upset but once I gave him the formula he was fine. Well I wasn't satisfied with stopping so after feeding him only formula for a couple of days I went back to breastfeeding and he's fine now. I actually do both formula and breastfeed. I'm hoping to get an electrical pump so that I can see how much he's eating cause he never seems satisfied after nursing so I usually give him 1-2oz. after. Right now I manually pump here and there and add it to his bottle of formula or I put him directly on the breast and he's thriving!

Going HOME!

We got to leave on Day 4 (Aug. 6th) from the hospital since my bleeding slowed down, I felt great with the transfusion and Naty took another day off work and I love him for that! I was still having lots of pain but did NOT want to mention that to anyone cause I wanted OUT! Naty and I were so antsy to leave that we started taking stuff to the car and cleaning our room. We were just waiting for Dr. Tsai to come in and give me the OK to leave and he wasn't coming so I jumped in the shower really fast, when I was getting out of the shower I heard his voice in the room so I ran out of the shower and didn't even dry myself cause I didn't want to wait again for him, LOL! He checked me and gave me the boot! woooooooo hoooooo! so I continued getting ready and waited, and waited, and waited some more and finally called the nurse to see what was taking them! They said we had to wait for the nurse practioner to come check the baby, dammit! So once she came in she said Nathaniel's murmur had gone away and he was PERFECT! So again we waited and waited for our discharge and my nurse came in and helped me put a band around my belly and it felt so good, I felt alot more stable and able to walk a lot better. Then it was time to go!! One of the nurses came and wheeled me away, I can't think of his name right now but he was the nicest man ever! He helped alot during my stay and would bring me juice and water and even changed my bed, lol, he was amazing, here he is:

Naty packed us in the car and we were on our merry way home:


We got home and the kids and in laws were waiting for us outside, the kids were so excited to see the baby, Audrey was even trying to get his carseat out of the car, lol. I had to yell at the poor guy a couple of times but I understood that she was just excited to have her little brother home.

Our Delivery Story (5)

Day 3
Finally! the drama is over and we can enjoy our blessings. This day was alot smoother and I could NOT wait to get all this stuff OFF of me. Dr. Tsai came in early this morning and removed the balloon from my uterus, he said we'd wait to see how I do first then he'd remove my catheter, UUUUUUUUHHH NOT HAPPENING, I told him to take it out NOW! So he let the nurse remove it and it was the BEST thing ever, all I needed was my IV off and I'd be completely mobile, well my sweet nurse came in and disconnected me, woooooo hoooooo! I was finally able to get up and move when I wanted so you know what I did, straight to the shower I went, I didn't want to get out. I just stood in there and let the water run on me and wash all the ickyness and stress I had on me, I thanked God right at that moment for warm water. Who knew water was so important! I felt loads better after and could not stay in bed, I'd get out of bed at any chance I'd get, it was an amazing feeling!

This day we had more visitors, Alex and Mayra came in the early afternoon, then Miguel, Veronica and the kids came in the later afternoon. We were thrilled to share our little man with everyone!



Once the visitors cleared away, we got our celebration dinner that was amazing! Naty and I tore it up and this is when we totally forgot about the baby (LOL!! JK) It was very nice, we just sat there in silence and ate, I wanted to break down crying a million times because of everything we went through to have Nathaniel, we were blessed, blessed with a great family, blessed with wondeful kids and blessed to have each other. I love you Naty.

Our Delivery Story (4)

Somewhere in between all this mess, Nathaniel was taken by the nurse practioner and had his tongue tie problem fixed, they cut the little string under his tongue cause it was stuck and it would be best to do it for breastfeeding and talking purposes. He didn't cry and did great.

After I almost passed out, the nurses told my doctor that I was changing color and very weak, once I hit the bed I felt wasted, like I had the life sucked out of me. That is when they told me I would need the blood transfusion ASAP, so I agreed and signed away. Before the big blood transfusion I was waiting for the kids to show up with the in laws, they never came so the nurse gives me benadryl right before she starts the transfusion and that made me super loopy, I was slowly falling into a deep sleep and thats when the kids came in, poor things, I wish they didn't see me like this. I can remember some things while I was slowly drifting away, (I really think this is what dying feels like), my in laws were just staring at me and OUT I went. The benadryl was used to avoid any reactions to the blood. So I wake up who knows how long later and the room is empty and dark. I kept looking around and see a bag of blood connected to me, then I hear a little noise and realize my mother in law was sitting by my side the whole time, she was holding Nathaniel while I was knocked out and everyone else was in the cafeteria. The nurse came and put a whole new bag of blood to connect me to. This is when I had horrible pain in my hand, it was a nasty burning pain that was KILLING ME, so I called the nurse right back and wanted to rip the IV out of me, she came right away and tried to get the blood going but it wasn't budging and was burning me so bad. She decided to pull my IV out for me and had to start a new one (this was the 3rd one to go bad on me by now). She said I was probably having pain the whole time I was asleep but obviously didn't feel it. I was already feeling a lot better and had a lot more color in my face, I was glad I got the transfusion.

The rest of this day was spent resting and loving on our boy, I took lots of pics of him from my bed, here's one...LOL

Our Delivery Story (3)

Since the bleeding wouldn't stop they said I'd have to go back into surgery and have a D&C. My blood level was at 6 and dropping every hour so I had to have it done fast. At this time the kids had come to meet the baby so I got to see them see their brother for the first time before they took me. The kids were so excited and Audrey looked amazed and could not believe it was a real baby. Bubbs just kept smiling, he was def. happy. Before you know it I'm being wheeled back into the same OR (operating room)where I just gave birth and the last I remember, people were talking all around me.

When I woke up I had a tube down my throat and felt some pain, that's when the nurse told me she was going to give me Demerol soon. Once that medicine went in I felt great all over again. They told me that I had a balloon filled with water in my uterus that would help my uteurs contract and it would come out in a day or two. I was wheeled back into my room where Naty and the baby were waiting for me. The kids were gone already because it was late and thats when the nurse told me that my son was bigger than we all thought. She explained to us that the OR scale was off by almost one pound and they re-weighed him about 2 hours after birth and he weighed 8 lbs. 9 oz. So I'm pretty sure he weighed a little more than that at birth but I'll stick with 8 lbs. 9 oz. They notified other parents that had their babies in that same OR and re-weighed them, lol.

Now, I was able to rest and enjoy my baby except he would not stop crying the whole first night. At that time I was BF and pretty sure he was hungry but I did not want to give him a bottle so he was nursing every hour and just crying most of the time.

DAY 2
I was constantly sleeping with the baby at this point cause I was exhausted from both surgeries and him not sleeping but he finally calmed down at this point and was letting us have a break. Naty and I took turns holding him and at this point Naty had changed all his diapers, I still hadn't changed one. Naty was amazing and would jump at any sound he'd make. This day went pretty smooth till the nurse said she wanted me to try getting up when I was ready. I told her I was ready cause I was determined to stand up, but at the same time my blood was still low and they weren't sure if I should get up yet but I told them I wanted to. So with lots of pain and struggling I got to sit at the edge of the bed, I waited a little and stood straight up. The nurse was all in my face asking me if I felt ok, I kept saying yes and starting walking to the bathroom to clean up. I looked at myself in the mirror and I was GREEN! I mean a weird color and the nurse kept asking if I felt dizzy, so I walk out of the room and everything started spinning so they made me go back to my room and lay down...that felt awful......



TO BE CONTINUED...

Our Delivery Story (2)

**Us in the recovery room**

When the doctor's began stitching me back up together the nurses kept calling Naty to go see his son but he didn't want to leave my side, lol so I had to yell at him and say, "Naty! go with the baby, I'm ok!" and that's when he got up and started taking pictures of the baby. After they were done they wheeled me over to recovery where they monitored me and I got to love on my little Nathaniel. Recovery is usually an hour BUT since I had a big surgery (I didn't know what they meant by that till waaaaaaaaaay later) they wanted to monitor me more so I got out of there in about 2 hours. I felt bad for Naty cause he hadn't ate (I hadn't either) and he said he wanted to suffer like I was and wasn't going to eat till I can, LOL! That's when I told him to LEAVE and get something NOW.

So I finally get wheeled into my room and I'm surrounded by nurses that swear they're going to be able to move me into my bed, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!!!!! I said, don't bother I'll move myself so I scooted my big self over with little effort and they were all shocked and could not believe I had so much mobility. One nurse even said, "Wow! ur ready for another c-section" and that's when I slapped her. JK! But anyway, Nate and I just waited for Naty to come back and he was there in a flash, I even asked him if he ate cause it was so fast.

My nurse came in and she was amazing! soooooo nice and caring. She told us that she would take Nate his first bath in our room so we got our cameras ready and here's a pic.




So everything was fine for a while till I started to feel something pour out of me....I told Naty that I felt like I was giving birth to something and he called the nurse. She came and said everything was fine and I'm passing the blood and clots that I should be, but then I noticed she kept coming in frequently and changing me and not saying a word, I knew something was wrong but she wouldn't say. I was hurting and just pooling in my own blood. I could feel myself get weaker and weaker and that's when the doctor came in and I heard her telling him that I'm bleeding excessively while she showed him all my monster hospital pads in the bathroom. I can hear him talking and saying I'll need to go back in surgery if he can't stop it with medication, that scared the crap out of me. My nurse came back in and said, "Marlene your bleeding is really bad and we've gotta try to stop it so we're gonna connect you to pitocin and give you an injection through your IV to try to stop it." So they get me all set up and now I'm contracting on top of everything else, it was horrible. A little later on the doctor (on-call, not mine) came in to check on me again and decided to manually remove these clots from me (use ur imagination) while he did this he was pushing on my stomach really hard, mind you I just had a c-section and this man is doing push-ups on my stomach. My nurse was amazing and held my hand, when she did that I tried to focus on something else while he did this and he said everything that he tried wasn't going to work and that I would need more surgery....

TO BE CONTINUED...

Our Delivery Story

**I get in deep detail here, not to bore you BUT to remember these days in the future and to have this to look back on.**

First of all, this might take me a while to write because a lot went on during those four days in the hospital. Despite it ALL I'm still very thankful and blessed to have had an experience where God gave me the ability to have another child. I would do it all over again.

The two days before the big day we were in East LA while Naty helped his dad prepare one of their rental properties for new renters. I was exhausted sitting there and was officially DONE and OVER IT. We left the kids with my in laws and I was so afraid that I would never see them again. At that point I was starting to get scared and was thinking maybe I'm not ready, LOL! I begged Naty to leave that Sunday cause I wanted to have our final meal, lol but he ended up there late and we ended up at Olive Garden right before they closed. I stuffed myself with fettuccine alfredo before a major surgery, Gross! It was all worth it though ;-)

It all started at 7am that Monday, August 3rd I woke up to Naty detailing my car and just getting things done before our 9am arrival. I quickly cleaned up some of the mess we had laying around the house and dyed my hair. We started running late and got to the hospital at 9:10AM. We were greeted by this perky man that was trying to crack jokes with us while we waited for the nurse to come get us. Then finally a nurse came and just started getting down to business, she was putting a hair net on me, slapped the wristband on me, took me to my room and said get naked, we're having a baby.

The nurse tried to get an IV in me but was unsuccessful and it hurt! she then got another lady to do another one and that one wasn't painful at all. They started the antibiotics and made me drink that nasty buffer stuff to settle the acid in my stomach. While we waited, Naty and I just chatted and talked about how we could NOT believe that the day had finally come. That's when the nurse came in and said we were on schedule and almost ready to go in. I honestly don't remember the time but when I got to the OR, people were chatting about their weekend and listening to music while they prepared everything. Then a young guy comes up to me and says he'll be puncturing my spine! WTH!!! uuuhhhhhh......YOU? he was so nice (and HOT) that I went with the flow, well....that nice and HOT guy pricked my spine 3 times with numbing medicine and about 5 times with the spinal needle and by that time I wanted the OLD man touching me! So the old real doctor came shoved it in and in one shot it was in. The good thing is that the needles didn't hurt that bad but it was uncomfortable arching my back with a big belly in front of me. Then thats when I felt the warmness hit my feet, aaaaahhh soothing, it felt odd and good at the same time. Before you know it Naty walked and was freaked out, he kept asking me if I was ok cause I felt like barfing but they gave me something through my IV to take that feeling away, which worked instantly. I just laid there while the doctor tugged, pulled, cut, and again, over and over till it became an hour and longer....I was just waiting to see my baby that I lost track of time and started worrying about the medication. I asked them if it would wear off while being open on the operating table, they said if it did they would put me under. OMG! I got scared and prayed they'd hurry up. Meanwhile, I hear my doctor call for another doctor for a second opinion, huh?? so the doctor comes in and all I remember hearing my doctor say is, "is this her uterus or bladder?", that just freaked me out, I guess I had so much scar tissue that it made it impossible for them to distinguish what was what.

Then I hear the doctor announce that he's making the incision to my uterus at such and such time and then I hear the most wonderful sound....WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH, little Nate screaming his head off. I immediately fell in love and it reminded me of Audrey, she cried and cried for hours after being born. And to top it off, he looked exactly like Audrey. All the nurses and doctors where saying how big and cute he was then they weighed him and were shocked to see 7lbs 14oz., they weren't convinced.

TO BE CONTINUED....

Welcome Nathaniel!

Nathaniel Soto
Born August 3rd, 2009
At 12:10am
Weighing in at 8 lbs. 9 oz., 20 inches long
Proud Big Brother Naty and Big Sister Audrey

Some Final Words-39 Weeks

oh wait! that doesn't sound right, I hope I make it! ;-)

But anyway, I've made it, the day has come and I can NOT wait to meet Nathaniel. He's already been a huge blessing to me and my family under the circumstances of how I concieved when I shouldn't have (we'll leave it at that) but he is totally wanted and loved by all of us and we're very lucky to be blessed with another gift from God. This still doesn't feel real I guess because I can't believe God came through again and blessed us with yet another little person to love and to raise into a God-loving, responsible and respectful adult. Our little family couldn't be any happier and I'm very curious as to how we'll react when we first see him. I know for a fact there will be happiness and joy but how will we show it? cry, scream, yell, just stare in shock, whatever it may be....Naty and I will most likely respond in the same way cause we just work like that. ;-) But anyway, we go in at 9am and surgery will be at 11am PST, please say a little prayer for us and keep us in your hearts during this JOYFUL and MEMORABLE time in our lives. I thank you ALL for your supportive texts, emails and messages that we've been recieving this whole weekend. IF I have your cell phone number then you'll most likely recieve a text from me, if we communicate thru the WWW then I'll be posting pics and sending an email out by thursday. Thank you all again for your support, we can't wait to share Nathaniel with all of you!

Pre-Op Appt. 7/31

Had my last NST and pre-op appt. today with Dr. Tsai. He explained everything that will be going on and told me how to prepare and get ready for the big day on Monday!

He said since it will be my 3rd c-section that it can take up to an hour and a half to work on me from beginning to end or as easy as a 1/2 hour. It just depends on the damage I've got going on in there. I warned him once again about my uterus being stuck to my stomach wall and he said he'll detach it and take out any easily accessible scar tissue that he can take out cause it's not good to mess with thick and blood circulating scar tissue cause it can cause me to bleed alot and we don't want that. I agreed and told him to please do what he can.

So here's the run down of what going to happen.

NO eating past 11:30pm on sunday night.
NO jewlery allowed, only wedding ring.
I have to show up at 9am at the L&D.
They will start an IV with antibiotics to lessen my chance of infection during surgery.
At 11am the surgery will start.
Should take about 45mins to an hour for ME but can take up to an hour and a half.
I'll be in recovery for an hour right after.

I was also given my staple removal date (08/10/09) and my 6 week check up (9/16/09) for my check up and IUD insertion. Which is crazy! I can't think that far ahead right now.

They also took lots of blood today and I felt like crap afterwards. I'm glad I had Naty's parents to take me cause I'm not sure how I would have made it back home. It's so weird that the day is near and it still doesn't feel real to me. Just unreal. Anyway, this pain isn't unreal so I better go take some tylenol, these contractions are really bugging me, I hate that my body doesn't know that it's not coming out that way! There's NO NEED to prepare me!