Pre-Op Appt.

Baby #4 will be here this Friday and we can't wait!

I had my pre-op with Dr. Tsai and it went really well. He spoke a lot about what happened with Nate's delivery and warned me that it can happen again, my chances went from 2% to 10% since I had already gone through it (needing a 2nd surgery for excessive bleeding, blood transfusion, etc..) Dr. Tsai mentioned that since it will be our last baby that he wouldn't think twice about a hysterectomy if I needed it and if it would resolve the problem easier than what I went through with my 3rd delivery. I agreed that it would be best if it was something easier to control my bleeding or to save my life.

I'm finally starting to get excited and scared about Friday, last week I had no feelings, I just wanted the day to come b/c I was miserable. Now that it's 4 days away I feel the excitement and nerves setting in. All I want from Friday is a healthy baby and no serious complications, I can deal with blood loss or a hysterectomy but I'm afraid of damage to other parts or even death. I know my surgery is something VERY SERIOUS and BIG but I pray God will watch over me and keep me here longer to care for my babies. Death is something you can NOT ignore, especially after what happened the last time, I'm not going to let that take my excitement away but it will always be in the back of my head.

Since I haven't been on here in a while I don't think I ever mentioned that we didn't find out the sex of our baby. Since he/she was our final one we thought we'd make it more exciting and not know, it drove me nuts in the beginning then I was able to adapt. I have everything ready for a boy so if it's a girl, I'll be running out right out of the hospital to go shopping for a girl!

Finally, I'm very happy to say that I'm done being pregnant, I was telling Naty that I never ever want to be pregnant again b/c of how miserable I've been feeling but I've never been this sure about not having anymore babies and I'm so glad I feel this way. I have no choice but to NOT have anymore babies (Doc said it is very dangerous to even think about) but I thank God that my heart feels complete. Of course I feel sad about not being able to carry a baby inside of me ever again but the way I'm feeling right now is awesome and complete. I never thought I'd feel complete and I prayed for that for a long time, I hated being on the fence and fearing regret of doing something permanent. Although I'm not doing anything permanent that will be Naty, I'm glad we're done with the baby stage after this baby :-)

Nate's 2nd Birthday Party

My baby turned 2 on August 3rd but we didn't have his party till the 27th because we had a lot going on with the house and we wanted to have as much done as possible and thank God it all worked out. It was a Dodger themed party since Nate LOVES baseball.

Update on Us

Last entry was in December which seems long ago but in reality it's flown right by.

January: 17 Months

My Beautiful Family

Sorry, it's sideways :-(

Nate and his Fugly Xmas Sweater (Thank you Ben...unfort. it got lost in the mail when I sent it to a friend)

January came and went, that month we seen a house for sale on my inlaws block and decided to look at it. Well....a day later we were putting a bid on it, our bid was accepted and we decided to rent our house out right away in Feb and stay with Naty's parents till our house was ready.

February: 18 Months

February was a sad sad month for us. We rented our home out and that was very hard. The picture above was Nate looking through the cupboards before we left and one last pic of him in his favorite place of the house, in his Daddy's garage. He loved hanging out with Daddy in there and would hit the door once he seen Naty get home.

March: 19 Months

This is the ONLY pic I have of him in March, we were living with my inlaws at this time and you can see behind him that there's piles of boxes. I lost my camera on several occasions and pictures haven't been a priority which isn't good.

April: 20 Months

April is another hard month, I'm weaning him and it makes me really sad. I was having a lot of pain and had to retire Leftie cause nothing was making it feel better so right now he's nursing off of Rightie about twice a day. I'm really proud of how long our nursing career has gone but it makes me really sad that I'll never experience that again with him. I loved our sessions and loved how it soothed him, nourished him and made him so happy. I see myself ending by this weekend, that's going to be so hard... :-(